Michael Phelps Jokes

Michael Phelps doesn’t use mouthwash he rinses with a bottle of chlorine every night before bed.

Michael Phelps won eight gold medals. Nine if he could have correctly identify which Asian chick really sang at the opening ceremony.

When Jaws goes to sleep he has nightmares of Michael Phelps.

Salmon learned to swim upstream from Michael Phelps.

1. Newton’s First Law is wrong:  Even if an external force is applied to Michael Phelps he will remain in the Michael Phelps state of motion.
2. Newton’s Second Law now states: The relationship between an object’s mass and its acceleration is the force Michael Phelps applies to them.
3. Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to Michael Phelps’ butterfly stroke.

• Scientists recently discovered the cause for warmer sea temperature and melting icebergs happens every time Michael Phelps gets in the water.
• Michael Phelps’ sweat is consider a banned substance for other athletes.  Too bad Michael Phelps never sweats.
• When Michael Phelps jumps into the pool, he isn’t making a splash; the water is just trying to get out of his way.
• Once, when Michael Phelps swam the Atlantic and came across mermaids, one said to him “I thought you were just a myth!”
• Ancient Greeks used to sacrifice 100 cows to Poseidon who would then turn around and sacrifice them to Michael Phelps.
• Michael Phelps does not swim like dolphins; dolphins swim like Michael Phelps.
• There is no need to save the whales, Michael Phelps has saved them all.
• When Michael Phelps goes water skiing he doesn’t use skis; or a boat.
• Every time you see a shooting star you are really watching Michael Phelps train in space.

Michael Phelps Primal Scream

Michael Phelps’ Primal Scream. Michael Phelps looked like he was going to split the earth open with that horrifying scream after winning the relay race. Here’s what the cameras caught!

Michael Phelps once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Michael Phelps won by 5.