Michael Phelps Jokes

If you spell Michael Phelps in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Michael Phelps tells fortune cookies what message to give him.

Michael Phelps once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

Michael Phelps is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Michael Phelps.

When Michael Phelps falls in water, Michael Phelps doesn’t get wet. Water gets Michael Phelps.

Michael Phelps can divide by zero.

Michael Phelps sucks the nougat out of Snickers bars and discards the empty, chocolate husks.

Michael Phelps once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

Michael Phelps doesn’t need to wax; he just wills his body hair not to grow.

Michael Phelps thinks Heidi Klum is “Decent, but I’ve seen better.”

When Michael Phelps uses a semicolon; it’s always correct.

Michael Phelps knows what the hell “Bohemian Rhapsody” is all about.