Michael Phelps Jokes
Michael Phelps can walk on water but doesn’t want to show off, so he swims instead.
When Aquaman needs help he calls Michael Phelps.
Michael Phelps cashed his plane ticket in and swam Butterfly to the Olympics.
Michael Phelps arrived in China riding a chariot pulled by two electric eels.
Michael Phelps craps out Energizer batteries.
Michael Phelps doesn’t swim through the water… the water swims around him.
The only thing that can defeat Michael Phelps is another Michael Phelps.
Michael Phelps was hungry before a race and ate his competition.
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Michael Phelps takes this as a personal insult.
Michael Phelps only swims through the water because he considers walking on top of it too pretentious
Michael Phelps can swim through dry land.
Michael Phelps doesn’t swim with sharks. Sharks swim with Michael Phelps.
Michael Phelps sleeps underwater with one eye open.
The First rule of Michael Phelps is: you do not talk about Michael Phelps.
Michael Phelps is the reason why Ian Thorpe went into retirement.
Michael Phelps’ pulse is measured on the richter scale.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Michael Phelps.
Michael Phelps once kicked a shark in the head… Its descendants are known today as the hammerhead.
Michael Phelps doesn’t wear a watch and he never is late, in fact is always arrives in world record time.
Michael Phelps recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Some swimmers use drag suits in practice… Michael Phelps uses a lead suit.
Michael Phelps was what Willis was talkin’ about.
Michael Phelps can sneeze with his eyes open… underwater.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Michael Phelps pajamas.
August 21st, 2008 at 9:52 pm
A Mere substitute for Chuck Norris jokes. Boring.
August 25th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
those are the best Michael Phelps jokes ever and he is the like CUTEST AND HOTTEST man in the universe will you marry me?
September 5th, 2008 at 4:07 am
Michael Phelps’ blood type is H2O.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
michael phelps is a pretentious asshole. these jokes, as “yo” said, are boring, and a lame attempt to be Chuck Norris jokes. you fail.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:45 pm
MY ORIGINAL JOKES!
CREATED TODAY at lunch
When your wife always says shes going swimming, blame it on Michael Phelps.
Why does Michael Phelps father never show up to his meets? Cuzz the guy can`t walk on water.
Why does Michael Phelps break world records? His mother had an affair with a shark.
Who was more hoes George Clooney or Tom Cruise? neither, Micheal Phelps
Knock Knock
Whose there?
You swim 50
You swim 50 who?
You swim 50 times slower than Michael Phelps
Dolphins have been disapearing at a rapid rate, some believe it to be the monster that is Michael Phelps.
Save the Dolphins. Capture Michael Phelps.
What sea creature has the largest penis? Michael Phelps
September 7th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Its true, Michael Phelps is an asshole, My friends and I met him at Michigan state, he was a prick to say the least
September 8th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
michael phelps is now earning chuck norris status
September 8th, 2008 at 5:50 pm
alright, some of these were actually pretty good, but others are jokes that were already the exact jokes but with chuck’s name instead.
September 16th, 2008 at 3:19 am
hi M.P.! you were awesome.. probably the hottest there is.. will you marry me?
October 30th, 2008 at 8:27 pm
ok, please stop ripping off chuck norris jokes, it’s really kind of sad……
November 4th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
CHUCK NORRIS WIL KICK MICHAEL PHELPS @$$
November 4th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
MICHAEL PHELPS IS NOT HOT HE IS UGLY HE GETS NO HOES AND HE CANNOT DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS YOU SAID
November 4th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
AND CHUCK NORRIS IS THE REASON FOR HAMMERHEAD SHARKS NOT PHELPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ANYBODY WHO THINKS THESE JOKES ARE FUNNY WILL DIE FROM A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE FACE!!!!!
December 7th, 2008 at 1:40 am
they say The only reason why michael phelps wears a wet suit is to cover up his dorsal fin
January 28th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Do you have any idea what he had to go through in his childhood? I don’t think it’s fair that you guys are judging him and you don’t even really know him.