Michael Phelps Jokes

Michael Phelps doesn’t use mouthwash he rinses with a bottle of chlorine every night before bed.

Michael Phelps won eight gold medals. Nine if he could have correctly identify which Asian chick really sang at the opening ceremony.

When Jaws goes to sleep he has nightmares of Michael Phelps.

Salmon learned to swim upstream from Michael Phelps.

Newton’s First Law is wrong:  Even if an external force is applied to Michael Phelps he will remain in the Michael Phelps state of motion.
Newton’s Second Law now states: The relationship between an object’s mass and its acceleration is the force Michael Phelps applies to them.
Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for [...]

Scientists recently discovered the cause for warmer sea temperature and melting icebergs happens every time Michael Phelps gets in the water.
Michael Phelps’ sweat is consider a banned substance for other athletes.  Too bad Michael Phelps never sweats.
When Michael Phelps jumps into the pool, he isn’t making a splash; the water is just trying to get [...]

Michael Phelps does not swim, He beats the shit out of the water until it takes him where he wants to go.

Michael Phelps’ Primal Scream. Michael Phelps looked like he was going to split the earth open with that horrifying scream after winning the relay race. Here’s what the cameras caught!

Michael Phelps once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Michael Phelps won by 5.